Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
