so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Randomize
