i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
