hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
