my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
