Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm too high and old for this...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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