I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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