So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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