i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
