You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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