is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
