I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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