I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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