Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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