Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
