once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
