Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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