I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
