Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
