Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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