This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
