Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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