There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm always down for nudity.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
