your thong is hanging out like whoa
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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