Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
