I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
