Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
