i think my tv is drunk
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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