So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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