We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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