Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon

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(510): View more from California

I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.

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(214): View more from Texas

you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.

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(217): View more from Illinois

What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up

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(970): View more from Colorado

Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.

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(937): View more from Ohio

You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable

(1-937): View more from Ohio

I can do at least one of those things.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.

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(727): View more from Florida

It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?

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