Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
