I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
