Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
