Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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