But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
