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• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.

  (1-857): View more from Massachusetts

  Doors?

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"

  Fav 2 3299 1147

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• (818): View more from California

  why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?

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• (469): View more from Texas

  It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.

  Fav 13 4644 1547

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• (209): View more from California

  is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.

  Fav 2 1021 759

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn

  Fav 1 231 107

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...

  (1-301): View more from Maryland

  navy blue

  (301): View more from Maryland

  The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...

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• (254): View more from Texas

  Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?

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• (807): View more from Ontario

  Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?

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