there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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