actually, I'm a sock model
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
