speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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