Yo dont text me then not text me
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
