Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
