We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
