I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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