On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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