To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
