I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
