ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
