I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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