can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
